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thisismyboat
High Speed Hair Velocity Expert
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
Canada
I'm quietly studying the fundamentals of art. I don't post very often, and when I do it tends to be sketches/studies. However I'm always happy to talk to people and offer critique/advice :)

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:iconksiazekrzysztof:
KsiazeKrzysztof Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch
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:icontyrannicalstubs:
TyrannicalStubs Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for joining #TheModernCartoonist!! :dummy:
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:icongoldenkestrel:
GoldenKestrel Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013   General Artist
Hi.
Thanks for leaving comment. Think I've answered your question.
p.s. Cannot ride bike either. Always fall off.
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:iconself-epidemic:
Self-Epidemic Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Oh hai! How're you doing? C: 
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Not too bad! Busy, though. Sorry I haven't gotten back to your last comment! I kept wanting to take the time to write something worthwhile, haha. Also I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since summer started and now I'm sore :(

How are you?
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:iconself-epidemic:
Self-Epidemic Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Haha no worries, I forgot what I wrote anyway C:

Exercise does not sound fun, though I did enjoy being sore. Its a good sign!

I'm okay, just finished a commission so pretty happy C: got a little over half the money I need now, which is exciting! :'D
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
The exercise was more satisfying than it normally would be because even though I've been away for a long time I was able to lift heavier weights than when I left. I think it's a combination of doing manual labour over the summer and having a better lifestyle after getting treatment for GAD. Either way, the soreness is a small trade off for health :)

Wheee, I'm glad you're getting commissioned! It means we get to see some more great work from you too. What're you saving up for?
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(1 Reply)
:iconblackiefriendofsnow:
BlackieFriendOfSnow Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(Thread closed couldn't reply so Ill copy and paste it here)

I have to be 18. Which I am but I can't go alone. I can't use my car and they won't let me use theirs. Plus they still have to pay for part of any medication prescribed. I don't have the worrying anxiety. I have the kind that feels like a heart attack accompanied by extremely violent rage. Ill punch out windows, mirrors, make holes in walls, throw people, etc. I can't stop it unless I just run away. I ended up sleeping in a car one winter night. I couldn't stay calm.

These pills aren't for everyday regular use. If I get hit with anxiety, I have to take it then. It'll pretty much knock me out in maybe 10 minutes. It's kind of like a tranquilizer. Ill get calm and then I fall asleep. Good for my fits of rage.

But here's the thing I was trying to point out to OP. I'm 18. I've had depression since I was 11. Beginning of 6th grade. I did in fact show people my cuts and whatnot. Hell my first time I slit my wrist and forearm 72 times. Who wasn't going to notice? But my depression never went away. It's just not some fad. Depression isn't a joke and many people show no signs of being depressed. Eventually everyone finds out someone does have it, for real, some way or another. There doesn't have to be a reason, but sometimes there are reasons. I was 11. I had plenty of reasons. And no one knew about any of it until high school. OP has no right to talk about something they know nothing of
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:iconthisismyboat:
thisismyboat Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Oof, that sucks. No busses or friends who could drive you? Taxi, even?

I know what kind of pills you're talking about. I was prescribed something similar when I had a panic attack so bad that I fainted multiple times and had to go to the hospital. Mine are only 1mg, but they still make me calm almost instantly and keep working until I can barely hold my head up a few hours later. It sucks you're not getting any regular medication meant to deal with background processes instead of the immediate. I know I hated taking those pills, and I think I only took one or two out of the five I was prescribed because they snapped me back to reality too quickly for my comfort.

We're so similar it's almost scary. I started having depression around 11 or 12 too. I used to cut my arms and show people too, not to brag, but because I was socially inept and knew something was wrong, so I was hoping someone would somehow know and fix everything. Eventually it lead to a lot of teasing, so I just moved my cutting to my stomach so others wouldn't know. I quit at fourteen.

I complained a lot about being tired, but that's not much to tip someone off about depression, particularly in teenagers. When your default mood is depressed you get very used to it and there's no obvious signs that the average people would notice. Even when I was barely dragging my ass out of bed every day to get to classes, I was still able to make people laugh their heads off with my jokes. If I had killed myself, I think everyone would have been surprised. That's why it's important to make an effort to remove the stigma from mental illness. We need to create an environment where people can openly talk about what's going on without feeling ashamed or weak, and also to help others see the signs and get help for those who need it. Unfortunately so many people start developing mental illnesses during a time when their peers are most vicious, and they end up internalizing it to prevent themselves from getting hurt more.
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:iconblackiefriendofsnow:
BlackieFriendOfSnow Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yep I was bullied, beaten up, pranced horribly at school but I had, and still have, a lot of family problems. The pills I have are only 10mg and they work fast, but hell they didnt give me 5!!! I have a bottle in my drawer with 720 in it! There are no taxi's or buses btw. And yeah in middle school I'd cover my arms, then go to my thighs, I had them on my shoulders, and I'd cut X's over my heart. Eventually I'd start burning myself or doing some other crazy things. No one cared that I did it. My parents saw the 72 and didnt say anything. I got reported to the school when I was 15 and they told my mom. I quit then. I did it a couple times this year, I'm almost completely numb to pain and some classmates wanted to test it. Hell they even held cigarettes down on my hand trying to make it hurt. I started to go a little crazy at the beginning of 12th grade. Anxiety took over. I had a bad anxiety attack and attempted suicide last Halloween night.I would've kept trying but after telling my best friend and seeing how hurt she was from it, I never tried it again. And like you, I am always tired. I lay in bed almost all day most days. Haven't gotten to in like a week. I have weird sleep schedules. And I agree, we need something new to help depressed people and others with mental issues. I went to the counselors every day the year I got depression and that didnt do shit. Those kids that tortured me never got in trouble. Only that one time we got caught fighting and we got the same punishment. All they do for us is call our moms or report us as suicidal. They wait until we get to that point before they step in. People need to prevent it or step in at the first sign that someone may have a problem.
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